TWISTED REALITY
Written by MICHAEL DAVID HUSER 5/16/1981 - 9/19/2001
Sharp pain deep inside
Thoughts of razors running through my mind.
Deafening silence, terrible stench
More suffering is coming, that I can sense.
Feeble worries, terrible frights
In evils world there is no light.
Many barriers to cross, terrible feats
Bridge to beyond, fiery heat.
Terrible poison flowing through my veins
This lingering urge driving me insane.
Want to do it, can't control it
Meth in my veins, flowing like a torrent.
Eating my skin, taking my sight
I gave up without a fight.
Terrible thoughts, Life in vain
Like suicide, myself I have slain.
The demon of meth has taken my soul
Left me without any control!
Just the word makes me want to cry
Feel the pain, you can hear it in my cries.
The song are hearing is It's Been Awhile by Staind
"It's Been Awhile"
And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means
And it's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I can say I love myself as well
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again
Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day!
And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candle lights your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem to be I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me
And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
TWEAKERS EYES
Written by: MICHAEL HUSER 5/16/1981 - 9/19/2001
Look into my eyes
Deep down inside is where it lies.
Terrible pain burns in my soul
A fire burning out of control.
Addiction and fear are the pain I feel
I close my eyes to conceal,
But when they open I still reveal.
With meth the sun never rises
Suicide is my surmise.
If this is life I'll take the chance
End it all, I'll dance the dance.
Stare my demon right in the eyes
Take it as it comes as no surprise.
No god to save me, total despair
My end is coming, death is in the air.
Demon comes down, takes my soul
Flies away and drops it in a hole.
Eternal heat, there is no sound
Down and down, darkness all around.
Lost the fight total defeat
This is my fate, eternal grief.
Meth is what took my life
Left me empty, it's not right.
It made my life a living hell
I could not stop, I could not tell
That this evil had a hold on me.
It picked me up then it tore me down
Left me here six feet down
All the way down in TWEAKER TOWN.
Some poetry written by Michael and his 15 year old brother Brock, that tells us all so much about the pain they were feeling inside from their addiction.
We who are left how shall we look again
Happily on the sun or feel the rain
Without remembering how they who went
Ungrudgingly and spent
Their lives for us loved, too, the sun and rain?
* Wilfred Wilson Gibson
He who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay, more present than the living man.
* Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
"The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity. Seneca Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come."
--- Rabindranath Tagore
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is.
- Albert Einstein
Memories live forever,
They grow richer through the years,
They are nurtured by our laughter,
They are watered by our tears.
Memories live forever,
sent from heaven up above
To eternally connect uw
To the people that we love.
The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
- Unknown
WALLS OF ADDICTION
Written by Brock Ball
Look into my eyes
And tell me what you see?
Another lost life,
Like suicide, I myself, I too have slain.
Trapped in prison by this terrible poison.
The feeling of meth in veins
is nothing more than a linguring
urge that is driving me insane.
I'm trapped,
you just aren't able to breathe
through these walls of addiciton.
This room is full of strange faces,
and scarry voices.
Frightened people scurrying about
in this drowning darkness.
Shadow people crawling in my mind,
leaving me with paranoid dillusions
and thoughts of suicide.
My LIFE
Written by MICHAEL DAVID HUSER 5/16/1981 - 9/19/2001
My life seems so hopeless,
What's the meaning of it all?
Most of the time I'm blocked by four walls.
It seems so insane to screw up again,
but when it comes right down to it,
I do it again.
I often wonder, why am I alive,
It seems so pointless even to try.
Because everyone around me seems to lie and deceive me, give me false hopes,
It's like they are pulling me around on ropes.
I try so hard to do my part,
but then everything in my world falls apart.
I had big dreams of going home,
Now I know hell is where I will roam.
When I die burn me down,
spread my ashes all around.
Where I'll go I know not yet,
Far as I know my destiny is set.
I've no control of what happens to me,
Four brick walls is as far as I can see .
MY NEW PAGE
John 14:2-3
My page has turned
a chapter's closed
a brand new page
for me unfolds
and my new page
will never turn
nor for the old page
will I yearn
for my new page
is Heaven, you see
I'm home with Jesus
for eternity.
"Thank you Lord for seeing how weary I am, and letting me rest
The pain is gone; the peace is beautiful,
Your love surrounds me.
I have fought the good fight and somehow now at this stage,
No matter what the outcome,
I feel I have won."
Author Unknown
God saw you getting tired
and a cure was not meant to be,
So he put his arms around you
and whispered "Come to Me".
With tearful eyes we watched you,
as we saw you pass away.
Although we loved you deeply,
we could not make you stay.
Your Golden Heart stopped beating,
hard working hands at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us,
He only takes the best.
Copyright © 1997 Therese Williamson
This page was last updated on: January 5, 2006
